Thanks Perry

So I was coming home from another invigorating and knowledge-filled day of class this afternoon (more like boring and caffeine-filled but oh well) and I remembered that my car door remote's range has decreased significantly in the past week or so. This prompted me to suck it up and make a left-hand turn into Hell. Whoops, I meant Wal-Mart. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to find a parking spot in less than 5 min that was less than 100 yards from the store and proceeded to try not to see anyone I knew (for time's sake of course) as I quickly bee-lined for the watch department. As I perused the battery selection (do I want a two pack of Rayovac or a two pack of Rayovac, which by the way is a complete marketing scam because who the heck needs two car remote batteries at the same time? You know they're just planning on you loosing it or forgetting that you have another battery when its time to change your remote battery again in 4 years, but I'm not going to get into that.) Anyway, I'm checking out the batteries and grab a pack that has the right number on it (CR2025 FYI.) I head to the front of the store to pick a line. First line is the "express" checkout and has 7 people in it. Pass. Next is a few closed lanes (of course) and then a closed self-check lane. This makes absolutely no sense, but it's always closed. The next self-check line has 3 orders waiting. One is a family of young parents and young children. I can tell by the way the little girl is holding that candy bar and the way her father is glancing at her mother that someone's not getting a candy bar, or is going to have to throw one heck of a fit to get it. Pass again. The next lane is a lady with about 75 items in a cart. Crap. She'll be a while. I glance around the corner and see the 4th self-check is also closed (but of course) and check for a glowing light above any nearby checkouts. Dull until almost produce 10 lanes away. Hello lady with 75 things.
Now it may seem like I'm going to be here a while, especially compared to the proportionality of items I have (one). The average person takes about 10 or so seconds to scan and bag an item. (I totally made that number up) Therefore we're looking at well over 10 min in line here, but hey, I'm patient. However I realize she still hasn't scanned anything. She's still placing everything on the miniature belt. It is not a necessary step to completely empty your cart onto the belt before you start scanning, however I suppose no one has ever told this lovely lady that, and I surely wasn't about to be the first, especially after she already had about 50 items stacked 2-3 deep on the belt. At this point I'm thinking about getting a piece of paper and trying to solve the Riemann Hypothesis or something. At this point an angel piped up, "Sir, is that all you're getting today?"
"Yes, it is!" I quickly reply.
"I can get you here," my fair angel said. ( He was a slightly balding man in his middle 40's but quite the angel to me.)
$4.80 later,"No bag thanks" and a, "You have a good day too!" has me walking out the door with possibly the first and only good shopping experience I'll ever have at Wal-Mart. So all I have to say is

Thanks Perry. You might have saved a lady's life today, or at least her dignity.

The Thief

Once I succumb to sleep I have given up on the day. I'm admitting that nothing else worth noting is going to happen. Once I lay down in bed I once again become slave to my life of school, work, friends, and family, for once I fall asleep inevitably the alarm clock will beep and life will go on. While this is all well and good it's those few precious moments when the house is asleep and I am alone with the whole world before me at my finger tips... shining gleefully... waiting to take me on a journey whether it be to the hauntingly peaceful fjords of northern Europe, reminiscing with an old friend, or a big explosion in some idiot's backyard. These are the moments when I am truly free. I have broken the bonds of due dates, deadlines, time clocks and role call. I feel like I am thieving time from the world.